Divorce
between two
people who
still love
each other
can be very
painful, not
only for the
married couple,
but for all
of their friends
and family,
as well. Divorce
will turn
your emotional
lives upside
down: not
to mention
the financial
costs involved
when you consider
lawyers, settlements,
moving, etc.On
the other
hand, sometimes
the problems
in a marriage
are so great
that divorce
may be the
only viable
option. For
those situations,
divorce truly
is the best
choice for
all involved,
despite the
pain it will
cause.
If you or
your spouse
is considering
a divorce
and yet you
feel there
still may
be hope in
saving your
marriage,
try asking
yourself these
5 questions
before you
make a decision.
1.
Do
you still
love your
spouse? This
is perhaps
the most important
starting point
in terms of
asking yourself
a series of
honest questions
about your
relationship.
If you believe
that the answer
is that you
do not really
love your
spouse any
more, you
should probably
get on the
phone with
your divorce
lawyer right
away: there is no point in moving forward if your
love for that
person has
completely
died, or if
you do not
respect them
anymore in
some fundamental
way.
2. Is there anything
you need to
get off your
chest? Are
you harboring
any information
about things
you have done
or things
you need to
tell your
spouse? Have
you betrayed
the trust
of your relationship
in some way
that must
be brought
up with your
spouse in
order for
things to
heal? If so,
seriously
consider sharing
these things
with your
spouse before
you proceed.
While their
reaction could
make things
harder at
first, there
may be some
things that
need to be
brought out
into the open
before you
can move on
and heal the
relationship.
3.
Are there
any problems
that absolutely
cannot be
overcome while
married? Has
anything happened
between the
two of you
that provide
an absolute
barrier to
your staying
together?
Is there an
addiction
- such as
gambling or
alcoholism
- that needs
to be overcome
before you
can move on
in your relationship?
Do your best
to truthfully
scan your
mind and heart
for any issue
or past event
whose existence
or memory
makes your
relationship
unworkable.
4. Do you have any conditions for staying
together?
If you or
your spouse
has had an
affair, has
a gambling
problem, or
has done something
unethical
or illegal
that you do
not respect,
look inside
your heart
and ask yourself:
what absolutely
needs to happen
before I am
willing to
commit to
this relationship
again?
5.
Have you given
your relationship
everything
you have?
Maybe you
and your spouse
have been
fighting for
the survival
of your marriage
for months
or years without
a lot of progress.
Maybe it has
been 3 steps
forward, 4
steps back.
Whatever the
situation,
look inside
your heart
and ask yourself
whether you
have truly
given it your
all. Do you
have anything
left to give?
The
prospect of
a divorce
is a scary
thing and
nobody wants
to have to
go through
it. Answering
these questions
honestly for
yourself is
a first step
toward deciding
whether you
are ready
to give things
at least one
more solid
try or to
call it quits.
